To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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