Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You were trust falling into bushes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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