I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
