Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were trust falling into bushes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
