Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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