I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
