so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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