And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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