Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
