She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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