So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
where are my eyebrows?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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