Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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