oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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