I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
