I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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