Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
