You work out of a Hotel?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
