Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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