You're so nebulous sometimes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
