To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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