Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
