his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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