I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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