True but thats because hes a fetus.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize