how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
