Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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