What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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