yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
