Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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