i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
