You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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