please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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