Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
