At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
