Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry about my life...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
