I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If that was your dad, he is hot
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize