1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
