there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize