I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize