Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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