To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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