You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
