Buhtt sex?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
