just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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