I don't think brook has ever known best
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
