butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
