You're so nebulous sometimes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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