Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize