all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
