i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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