Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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