remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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