Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
