My friends, they love my intelligence
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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