note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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