so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
