Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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