And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
