Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
420 ftw
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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